Is the News Harming Your Mental Health? How to Stay Informed and Sane

Today I woke up, picked up my phone and immediately checked my news feed. Unfortunately, like many people, this has become a habit for me. I talk with people all the time who ask how they can stay informed and take care of their mental health at the same time.

I have my usual advice, monitor how much news you digest, notice what is coming up for you when you feel compelled to watch the news, exchange doom scrolling with another, healthier activity like taking a walk or meditation....

All decent advice. So why don't I follow my own advice? Why did I wake up today, and to be honest, yesterday and probably several days prior to that, and immediately check the news? I already know what I will find - primarily things that make me feel anxious and maybe even depressed.

So, I decided to get curious....

I decided to take my own advice and notice what was coming up for me when I reached for that phone. I noticed a desire for information. Ok. So, I got curious about that. Why did I want information? I noticed an overall sense of anxiety and a need for safety.

So, I got curious about that. Safe from what? The world can feel like a scary place. Am I trying to feel safer in the world? If I am trying to feel safer then why don’t I turn off the news? Why do I want more?

Sometimes when we are anxious we believe if we see every possibility and have all the right information we can keep ourselves safe. This is true to some extent. Being prepared is a good thing. However, obsessing over information is not helpful. So, we need to be aware of our intake of information AND how it is making us feel.

As we watch the news, we get a quick fix of information that might make us feel temporarily like we have some control over the scary situation. As we continue to watch, we become more afraid, and then, looking for that quick anxiety fix again, we continue to watch. And we find ourselves in a vicious cycle!

What to do about this endless cycle? Recognizing what is going on is the first step. Then noticing those things you do have control over in our life. And perhaps starting with turning the TV off or putting away the phone! The things you do have control over include how you manage your anxiety. You can take a walk, meditate, do yoga or play with your dog. Next step, get involved. Volunteering for an organization that means something to you can be empowering.

We are often looking for that quick fix for our anxiety. Unfortunately, often the things we do to “fix” our anxiety actually cause it to increase. Take a moment the next time you feel compelled to look at the news. What is this actually about for you? Perhaps, like me, you are ultimately hoping to decrease your overall anxiety.

If you need further support with anxiety, stress or other mental health issues, reach out for a free consultation. Andrea@AndreaHarbeckTherapy.com    www.AndreaHarbeckTherapy.com

Start the New Year with a Strengths Based Perspective

There is so much advice this time of year around resolutions, goal setting and how to become the best version of yourself. All of these can be helpful depending on how you approach them. Often, we approach New Year’s resolutions with a critical eye. What do we want to change about ourselves? Where did we fail to achieve goals this past year? How do I want this next year to be different from the last?

What if we examined ourselves and our lives while looking for our strengths rather than our deficits? In Solution Focused Therapy we often ask people to look for the exceptions to their problems. Where are things going well? What is working for you now? In what ways are you already achieving your goals? Building on those exceptions will help you see your own strengths and potential in a way that a critical eye often misses.

When we approach ourselves in a strengths based way, we can also avoid unnecessary anxiety and stress. While there is an initial momentum that can happen when we resolve to be better or do more, we can lose that momentum quickly if it is based in self-criticism. We often see this around February or March when people begin to give up on their resolutions. When we give up on our goals we often turn towards self-criticism which can lead to anxiety, stress and depression.

How to Approach the New Year from a Strengths Based Perspective

Ask yourself the following questions:

1.     What did I achieve, however small, this past year that I am proud of?

2.     How was I able to accomplish this?

3.     What internal strengths did I bring that helped me accomplish this?

4.     How is this achievement making my life better now?

5.     Using the strengths identified in step 3, how can I build on this accomplishment over the next week or month? (Keep the time frame short and doable)

6.     Or, using the strengths identified in step 3, how can I use them to help me achieve a new goal?

7.     As you work towards your goal, continually ask yourself:

a.     What is going well?

b.     What is working?

c.      What internal strengths am I utilizing that are helping me towards this goal?

By keeping your focus on what is working and what strengths you are utilizing you not only increase your chances of success but contribute to better mental health overall!

Happy New Year!

Visit my website for more information about me and the therapies I use.

Andrea@AndreaHarbeckTherapy.com

How Do I Survive the Holidays with Family?

How Do I Survive the Holidays with Family?

Holidays can bring out the best and the worst in family dynamics. I often have people wonder how they can both love and cherish their family while also feeling stressed, anxious and overwhelmed by the idea of spending extended amounts of time with them.

Family, Holidays and Politics

What is worse than soured egg nogged? Family, holidays and politics! This combination has always been difficult to manage. However, in recent years it seems to be a source of great distress for people regardless of their views.

People often ask me how to manage family events when family members don’t agree politically. There are plenty of articles now to guide people on how to navigate these conversations. These can be helpful guides and resources if you are mentally and emotionally prepared for them. What if these conversations feel like too much to manage, though?

So how do you handle holiday stress, family stress and political stress?

Here are a few suggestions:

Know your limits and create boundaries:

We all have a breaking point where stress and anxiety become too much to handle. For some people this can lead to panic attacks. For others, it may be an irritable outburst, or an inability to stop crying. Some people just shut down.

Before the holidays take some time to reflect. When and where have you met your breaking point in the past? What were the circumstances? What was the outcome? Was there a missed opportunity to politely bow out, take a break or communicate a boundary?

A stressful situation with family this holiday season

If you are anticipating a stressful situation with family this year, think through how you might create some space for yourself. This can mean taking actual space like a preplanned walk. This can also mean internal space. Don’t engage in conversations that you know might trigger your breaking point. If your desire to stay out of hostile conversations is not respected, you may have to set some clear external boundaries with family. Let them know your limits up front.

“I am happy we can be together for the holiday, and I want us all to have a good time. Can we agree that certain topics are off limits during this time? I know I don’t have the energy to manage those topics right now. I hope you can respect that. As for me, if these topics do come up, I will be taking a break and going for a walk to keep myself from getting overwhelmed. I just want everyone to know this upfront, so no one is offended. Thanks for hearing me out.”

What if I am afraid to set boundaries with my family?

It may be time for some help from a mental health professional if creating boundaries feels scary or impossible. Creating boundaries is sometimes easier said than done. The very idea of creating boundaries can cause some people a lot of distress. Concerns around abandonment, self-worth and past experiences can all get in the way of creating healthy boundaries. These issues are worth processing. Please reach out if you are struggling with the idea of family, holidays, difficult conversations or creating boundaries. I help people figure out what is getting in the way and how to practically navigate the situation so that holidays and family can be a time for joy and peace.

Find out more about me and the therapies I use at:

www. AndreaHarbeckTherapy.com

Or reach out for a complimentary 15 minute phone or zoom consultation:

Andrea@AndreaHarbeckTherapy.com

720-336-9454

Does EMDR Therapy Work for Anxiety?

Many people have heard of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) as a therapy used to treat trauma. While EMDR is appropriate for trauma, it is also just as helpful for anxiety and other stressful life experiences.

Many people come to my practice with distressing symptoms such as excessive worry, trouble sleeping, digestive issues or a sense of dread they cannot shake. I often use EMDR therapy to help these people decrease their symptoms and often eliminate their distress all together.

What about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?

A lot of people come to me because they have heard of the benefits of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). This type of therapy can help people build awareness and skills to manage anxiety symptoms and I often incorporate CBT into the therapeutic process when using EMDR.

EMDR is different from CBT in that it allows people to discover and process the root causes of their distress. While CBT can be a useful tool to help manage symptoms, EMDR is often more useful in eliminating symptoms.

I often describe the difference between CBT and EMDR as the difference between a band-aid and stitches. CBT, much like a band-aid, can help stop the bleeding (or manage the symptoms) while EMDR aids in the healing process on a deeper level. Sometimes a band-aid is the most appropriate option, but for many a deeper healing is necessary.

How do I know what type of therapy is right for me?

Working with a mental health professional you can determine which type of therapy is right for you. However, knowing which therapist to choose in the first place can be more difficult. Many therapists utilize one type of therapy, while others, like me use a variety of techniques.

In my experience, each person who comes to me is unique and therefore, deserves a unique plan of treatment. While EMDR is one of my main go-to therapies, I also incorporate CBT, Mindfulness, and traditional talk therapy techniques into my practice. For many people, a blend of therapeutic techniques works best.

If you would like more information about the types of therapies I use, including EMDR, feel free to call for a free 15 minute phone consultation. You can also visit my website for more details about EMDR.

www.AndreaHarbeckTherapy.com

Andrea@AndreaHarbeckTherapy.com

720-336-9454

I Can't Stop My Negative, Anxious Thoughts!

You have seen the memes, you have read to posts…”Be your authentic self”, “Trust yourself”, “Do more self care”, or my favorite, “Just let go!”

Oh, if it were only that easy! While none of this is bad advice, it can be demoralizing. What if you are not sure who your authentic self is? What if you really do not know how to “let it go.” What if it feels like your authentic self is overcome with excessive worry? What if you have tried to let go but find yourself always thinking about the worse case scenario? What if self care has just become another item on your endless to do list and only adds to the stress. What if when you read those memes you just end up feeling bad about yourself?

Sometimes negative, anxious or worried thoughts seem to take on a life of their own.

Unfortunately, well intended posts can actually increase low self esteem. So, what do you do with all those negative thoughts, worries, and stress? Talking with a therapist can help you identify the origins of your anxiety. Once you know why your mind works the way it does you can take steps to rewire your brain.

Yes, it is possible to rewire your brain! Both Mindfulness techniques and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy show positive changes in the brain during brain scans. Negative emotions, thoughts and body sensations are often caused by unprocessed memories stored in the brain.

By processing distressing life events and learning tools and skills to help manage stress and anxiety you can “let it go!”

If you or someone you know is struggling with negative, anxious or worried thoughts please reach out for a complimentary 15 minute phone consultation with Andrea Harbeck, LCSW. Andrea can help you figure out the origins of your anxiety and guide you through the steps to finding a happier, healthier more balanced self.

What people are saying about working with Andrea:

“Andrea helped me develop some real-time coping skills and introduced me to the benefits of EMDR. Through that work, I’ve been able to drastically reduce my stress levels, gain a better understanding of myself and my triggers, and generally live life in a more balanced way.”

            Client Testimonial

“Andrea has been tremendously supportive in helping me cope with and find solutions to living with anxiety, which I have struggled with for more than a decade. Together we have used the EMDR technique to get to the root cause of many of my negative thoughts and feelings. With Andrea's help, I have found more happiness in my day-to-day life.”

            Client Testimonial

It Is Summer Time! Why Do I Still Feel Stress and Anxiety?

It is Summer Time! Why Do I Still Feel Stress and Anxiety?

For many people summer ushers in a surge of positive energy and carefree emotions. There is more sunlight which can positively impact our mood. Often there is more opportunity to take time away from work and enjoy vacations.

So, why might you still feel stress and anxiety? Shouldn’t our stress levels decrease, and our anxiety dissipate during this time? Not necessarily. Stress and anxiety, while often triggered by external factors such as work or difficult relationships, often has roots in our past.

The Causes of Anxiety and Stress

Difficult family dynamics growing up can set the stage for anxiety later in life. A lack of support around how to manage stress as a child can leave you without the skills and tools you need as an adult to manage life’s stressors.

It can be frustrating when you feel you cannot be fully present for the joyful times in life because your anxiety or stress is waying on you.

What Can I Do About My Anxiety and Stress?

One of the most important first steps to managing your anxiety and stress is awareness. Examining your past experiences often gives clues to how you respond to life today. When you understand your own triggers to external stressors you can begin to learn new ways of responding.

What Therapies Can Help With Anxiety and Stress?

When coupled with more traditional forms of talk therapy that help people gain awareness of the root causes of their distress, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is one of the most effective, evidence-based therapies for dealing with distress. While EMDR is best known as a trauma therapy, it is also equally effective as a strategy to address stress and anxiety.

EMDR therapy works with your body’s nervous system to effectively change the way you respond to stressful life events and challenges. Your distress will be decreased and often eliminated.

Andrea Harbeck, MA, LCSW uses EMDR while incorporating Mindfulness and Insight Oriented Therapy to help people manage their stress and anxiety.

What people are saying about working with Andrea:

            “After several month's of doing a combination of virtual and in person EMDR treatment, my daily anxiety was significantly reduced and I have been able to rid myself of it almost completely.”

“Over the last 6 months, Andrea has been tremendously supportive in helping me cope with and find solutions to living with depression and anxiety, which I have struggled with for more than a decade. Together we have used the EMDR technique to get to the root cause of many of my negative thoughts and feelings that stemmed from past trauma. As a mother, wife, daughter and sister, I am so glad I sought help with these issues that were manifesting themselves in other areas of my personal and professional life. With Andrea's help, I have found more happiness in my day-to-day life.”

Reach out today for a free 15 minute consultation with Andrea to see if she can help you.

Andrea@AndreaHarbeckTherapy.com

720-336-9454

Self Care and Increased Anxiety

Self-care seems to be all the rage lately. Everyone is talking about it. Self-care often soothes anxiety and can help us gain new perspectives. Taking time to care for yourself is essential. However, even self-care can leave us feeling unbalanced and with more anxiety.

When self-care becomes an extra item on your lengthy to-do list it can cause increased stress and anxiety. Often, we start out the new year with lofty goals around self-care. We will exercise more, start a yoga practice, eat better, or spend more quality time with friends. Nothing wrong with any of those activities. Have you ever caught yourself, though, thinking about these or other self-care activities and felt your heart rate increase, your mind start to race, or shut down?

You might be having a stress reaction to your own self-care plans. Often this comes from goals that are not realistic or don’t feel like self-care. So, what is self-care? Self-care that is truly helpful to your mental health must be done with balance in mind. This is where mindfulness can be helpful.

Mindfulness is not only a good form of self-care in itself (as long as it too is done with balance in mind), but also helpful in understanding your own limits, boundaries and sense of balance. When we overdo anything, we can create more stress and anxiety for ourselves. Mindfulness provides us with a space to look inside and assess our own needs in a way that alleviates stress and anxiety rather than adding to it.

If your attempts at self-care seem to leave you feeling nervous, anxious, or more stressed, you might benefit from mindfulness. I help people develop more mindfulness in their lives so they can feel calmer, happier, and less stressed. Talking to someone about what a balanced self-care routine might look like in your life can be very helpful.

Reach out to me to find out more about how a more balanced, mindful approach to self-care and life can help you decrease anxiety and stress in your life.

Andrea Harbeck

Andrea@AndreaHarbeckTherapy.com

720-336-9454

www.AndreaHarbeckTherapy.com

Finding Direction in the New Year

It is a new year, and many people take this time to assess what they have done over the past year and what they want to accomplish in the next. This can be a complicated and anxiety inducing task in a good year. Add a pandemic and you might find yourself with more anxiety than usual.

For some, reflecting on the past and planning for the future can cause an increase in anxiety symptoms such as sleeplessness, spiraling thoughts, trouble concentrating and nervousness. The past year has been fraught with pandemic stress, natural disasters and political divides. All of these can be experienced as extreme stress or even trauma.

Therapy for Anxiety and Stress

Are you looking to the new year with dread? Does the idea of planning for the future leave you with a racing heart, spinning thoughts and GI problems? You are not alone and shouldn’t have to manage the stress by yourself.

I provide a safe space for people to reflect while helping them find direction and clarity. You can move into the new year with less anxiety and more confidence.

Finding Your Life’s Purpose

Young people trying to figure out what to do with their life can experience an even greater level of anxiety, hopelessness and uncertainty. Figuring out what you would like to do with your life is stressful enough. Finding your path in today’s world can be even more challenging. I love to help young people as they navigate their future. Working with me can help you find hope and more certainty in your life direction.

New Year’s Resolutions

One simple yet effective way to move into the new year with less anxiety is with a gratitude list. Many of us look back on the things we didn’t accomplish last year or identify what is lacking in our life in hopes of finding it in the new year. There can be usefulness in identifying those things you hope for in the future. However, starting with gratitude can give clarity to those things we value and highlight our strengths. Rather than starting the new year with a list of resolutions, start with a list of things you are grateful for in your life.

I use mindfulness and cognitive behavioral based strategies as well as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) to help people feel happier and more confident as they move forward in life.

Find out more about me and the therapies I use at:

www. AndreaHarbeckTherapy.com

Or reach out for a complimentary phone or zoom consultation:

Andrea@AndreaHarbeckTherapy.com

720-336-9454

Holidays, Family and Politics: How Do I Manage?

Holidays, Family, and Politics: How Do I Manage?

Holidays, family, and politics can be a recipe for stress, anxiety, and frustration. This combination has always been difficult to manage. However, in recent years it seems to be a source of great distress for people regardless of their views.

People often ask me how to manage family events when family members don’t agree politically. There are plenty of articles now to guide people on how to navigate these conversations. These can be helpful guides and resources if you are mentally and emotionally prepared for them. What if these conversations feel like too much to manage, though?

So how do you handle holiday stress, family stress and political stress?

Here are a few suggestions:

Know your limits and create boundaries:

We all have a breaking point where stress and anxiety become too much to handle. For some people this can lead to panic attacks. For others, it may be an irritable outburst, or an inability to stop crying.

Before the holidays take some time to reflect. When and where have you met your breaking point in the past? What were the circumstances? What was the outcome? Was there a missed opportunity to politely bow out, take a break or communicate a boundary?

A stressful situation with family this holiday season

If you are anticipating a stressful situation with family this year, think through how you might create some space for yourself. This can mean taking actual space like a preplanned walk. This can also mean internal space. Don’t engage in conversations that you know might trigger your breaking point. If your desire to stay out of hostile conversations is not respected, you may have to set some clear external boundaries with family. Let them know your limits up front.

“I am happy we can be together for the holiday, and I want us all to have a good time. Can we agree that certain topics are off limits during this time? I know I don’t have the energy to manage those topics right now. I hope you can respect that. As for me, if these topics do come up, I will be taking a break and going for a walk to keep myself from getting overwhelmed. I just want everyone to know this upfront, so no one is offended. Thanks for hearing me out.”

What if I am afraid to set boundaries with my family?

It may be time for some help from a mental health professional if creating boundaries feels scary or impossible. Creating boundaries is sometimes easier said than done. The very idea of creating boundaries can cause some people a lot of distress. Concerns around abandonment, self-worth and past experiences can all get in the way of creating healthy boundaries. These issues are worth processing. Please reach out if you are struggling with the idea of family, holidays, and difficult conversations. I help people figure out what is getting in the way and how to practically navigate the situation so that holidays and family can be a time for joy and peace.

Find out more about me and the therapies I use at:

www. AndreaHarbeckTherapy.com

Or reach out for a complimentary phone or zoom consultation:

Andrea@AndreaHarbeckTherapy.com

720-336-9454

Anxiety That Comes Out of Nowhere

Anxiety That Comes Out of Nowhere

The past year has been difficult for everyone. Many people I talk to report new or worsening symptoms of anxiety since the pandemic began.

“It seems to come out of nowhere.” “I don’t know why I am so anxious all of the time.”

Since the pandemic I have heard more people express that their anxiety feels more out of control, and they are not sure why. Many people report problems with concentration, increased nervousness, trouble sleeping, an inability to cope with everyday stress and more.

Often people come to me and report these and other symptoms that do not seem to have a clear reason or source. Part of my job is to help people sort through the causes. However, many times the pandemic seems to be the source or at least a part of the puzzle.

Causes of Anxiety

COVID is something that for many people threatened both their physical well-being as well as their social and emotional well-being. Isolation, fear of illness, and loss or potential loss of employment are all traumatic experiences.

When we are confronted with something traumatic, we often experience symptoms of anxiety. This can be, in part, due to our body’s natural fight, flight or freeze response. This response is our body’s natural defense response to something that threatens our well-being. It is the same response we might have if we were in nature and approached by a mountain lion.

Anxiety and Trauma

Different people respond differently to a threat or perceived threat to their well-being. Some people feel as though they cannot function normally, have trouble concentrating and completing everyday tasks. This is likened to the “freeze” response.

Other people might feel as though they cannot slow down. They might neglect their relationships or normal self-care routine while working non-stop. Some of these people experience panic like symptoms including a racing heart or an inability to stop spiraling and negative thoughts. This response may be like a “flight” response to the threat.

Others have an increase in irritability and difficulty regulating their emotions. This may be like a “fight” response. People can also have a combination of responses and symptoms. The pandemic, while it may seem less threatening than a mountain lion, is still a potential threat to our life and way of life. This is enough to categorize the experience as traumatic.

Therapy for Anxiety in Denver

Perhaps you have been experiencing symptoms of anxiety lately and weren’t sure why. The pandemic may be at least part of the puzzle for you. So, what do you do about that?

I specialize in helping people manage anxiety and stressful life events to help them feel less triggered, less stressed and more at peace. I utilize mindfulness based techniques as well as EMDR therapy to help people resolve and often eliminate distressing symptoms.

Find out more about me and the therapies I use at:

www. AndreaHarbeckTherapy.com

Or reach out for a complimentary phone or zoom consultation:

Andrea@AndreaHarbeckTherapy.com

720-336-9454